Like Being The World's Fastest Snail

I have begun a new segment at StrikeDownAlley called "It's Like Being The World's Fastest Snail". I have compiled the stats for the best of the worst teams or worst statistical performance for players on teams that performed the poorest in the named department in their respective leagues.
1. There are two winless teams remaining in Division I men's basketball; Alcorn State and Bryant College. I have chosen to reveal the leading scorers for each team respectively.
Bryant College: Cecil Gresham, 14.5 PPG thru Feb. 2, 2010
Alcorn State: Jonathan Boyd, 12.1 PPG thru Feb. 2, 2010
2. Two NCAA Division I football teams finished winless this past season; Eastern Michigan and Western Kentucky. I have chosen to highlight their leading rushers.
Eastern Michigan: Dwayne Priest, 145 carries, 633 yds, 3.6 YPC, 7 TD's
Western Kentucky: Bobby Rainey, 144 carries, 939 yds, 6.5 YPC, 6 TD's
3. John Lannan was the best pitcher of the losingest team in Major League Baseball last year, the Washington Nationals. He led the team in wins with 9, in ERA with a 3.88 with 89 strikeouts and a workmanlike 206.1 IP. Talk about spending a lot of time suffering through your work.
4. I hate to divulge this seeing as they are my team, but Daniel Murphy led my New York Mets in home runs thus making him the player with the lowest team leading home run total wih a non-Ruthian 12 whole dingers.
5. The Edmonton Oilers have the least amount of wins (17) and points (40) in the NHL, so I have chosen to highlight their leading scorer, Dustin Penner with 22 goals and 22 assists thru Feb. 2, 2010. Makes them yearn for the glory days of Messier and Gretzky.
6. The Orlando Magic were in the NBA Finals this year, and despite the recent struggles of Vince Carter, they are primed for a strong playoff push again this season. The area they channel their inner New Jersy Net in is free throw percentage, trailing everyone else by shooting a woeful 71.4% as a team. The brightest spot with a minimum of 60 attempts is J.J. Redick, who has made 107 out of 127 attempts, for a percentage of 84.3%. Good to see Redick is making his mark in the NBA.
7. There was one team in NCAA Division I baseball that failed to win even one single game, and that team was the Coppin State Eagles. Turns out pitching was a big problem for Coppin State with Jonathan Reynolds "leading" the team in ERA with a Hideki Irabu-like 10.56 ERA in his 8 starts. Hey, the Mets need pitching.
8. Portsmouth is deeply buried in the relegation zone with no hope of getting ou this season in the English Premier League. They have scored a total of 5 goals on the road up until now, and are tied for worst in the leage with 19 goals thru Feb. 2. However, their leading scorer is Ivory Coast National Team player Aruna Dindane with 4. That's right, 4. Carlos Tevez had 3 goals... in ONE game recently.
9. The next battle of ineptitude I cooked up was the Battle of the Collins twins, Jason and Jarron. I compared their career stats, and Jason is outshining Jarron to the tune of 4.2 PPG and 4.3 RPG, while Jarron has scored 4.3 PPG and 3.1 RPG. The huge difference comes in money time with Jason getting 3.7 PPG and 4.4 RPG in the playoffs. Jarron wilts on the big stage averaging a Greg Kite-like 1.8 points and 1.7 rebounds per game.
10. The professional sports franchise I give the lifetime achievement award to for complete incompetence from top to bottom is the Los Angeles Clippers; which is why I was a little bit diappointed when I decided to use the franchise's all time leader in scoring average as the coup de grace. I was shocked to learn when I saw the Clippers' record book on NBA.com and read that World B. Free leads the franchise with a very impressive 29.4 PPG with a minimum of 200 games played and 4,000 points scored for the juggernaut San Diego Clippers. So, what was supposed to be a comedic ending turns out to be more of a shout out to one of the better players of his era, Mr. World B. Free.
I want to thank NBA.com, Yahoo Sports, MLB.com, and the Coppin State website for providing my nuggets of information that I was able to share, and thank you for coming to StrikeDownAlley.